Skip to main content

The Slap

The liar  

People are idiots. You tell them what they want to hear. You use them, you lie to them, you manipulate them, easy, pliable. And you... You get what you want. Isn't that what life is about? Getting what you want? I always manage. I don't have friends, I mean there are people, I guess, they consider me close to them. But how much do you need from them really.

I walk toward one of them. She is sweet, easily manipulated, a little clingy and one world class idiot. She is everything I hate about people, pliable. But I am good at what I do, can't blame her completely for her ignorance. She hugs me. She smells like papaya. It's the darn shampoo she uses. She has already started talking, a mile a minute. Irritated by people in her life, going on about how she hates people. I want to shout at her, if she hates people, why get around them, why be close to them. But no she needs them. Stupid girl. But she is easy, she helps me out with everything.  She does my work for me, makes my presentations, teaches me stuff I don't feel like reading, listens to me when I am annoyed or frustrated with life. She is like putty in my hands. So what if I have to tolerate her for a little while. She keeps talking and I pretend to listen. She will hit me the next time I say that I don't remember what she said.   

My other "friends" come toward us, I am a little relieved. I don't have to hear her whine and I can still get her to have dinner with me tonight. I will be a little bored without any company. They start talking about some crappy plans tonight. I am glad they are doing it in front of her, she will know why I have to break our date. I don't bother listening, they love me too much, they wouldn't make plans without me. I guess I wouldn't have to hang out with this clingy bitch. People, they can be so fickle. I love that about me. She is looking at me in a weird way. God, why did I even bother with this chick. I raise my eyebrows. "What?" The slap comes out of nowhere.  

The believer  

People are idiots. They tell you what you want to hear. They use you, they lie to you, they manipulate you, make you feel so easy, so pliable. And you... You give them what they want. Isn't that what life is about? Losing? Not me. I don't let people manipulate me. I have a few close friends and I trust they wouldn't hurt me.

I walk toward one of them. He is sweet, extremely charming and one of the least manipulative people I know. He brings out the very few things I love about people, honesty. I hug him, he smells of sweat, gross, he never uses deo. I start talking as soon as I let go of him, I am annoyed at the world. Paranoid about the large number of people in this world who are out to get me. I tell him how although people can get extremely annoying you need them in your life. That it is one of those love hate relationships you possibly cannot get out of. He is such a good listener. He just has a really short term memory. Sometimes I feel like I owe him a lot, so I help him out with his work, I love listening to his problems and helping solve them. I secretly have fun with that.  

I see his guy gang approach. I am very relieved. I didn't want to bum him out with my nauseatingly long preaching about how people suck. I will make it sound a lot less melodramatic when I am in a better mood, I can talk to him over dinner. His friends have come over and they start talking about plans tonight.  I look over at him, I know he is going to cancel plans with me. I sigh. It has happened before. I wouldn't let it bother me. I smile at one of his friends. Who suddenly looks at me and nudges another. What was going on. They start making fun of me, something about having done some work for him, I hear the words manipulated, easy, boring, clingy. My mind begins to reel. What had I missed. I look over at him, I can see it on his face now, annoyance, irritation, lies, manipulation. Am I that fickle to change my mind about him? I hate that I am so fickle. Then on his face... Nothing. Blank. Everything was hidden. I was wrong, all along. He raises his eyebrows. "What?" Hatred pours through my veins, the slap comes out of nowhere.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Love

His Princess He didn't see me going to the donut store. If he did, he would remind me that I'm fat. He would remind me 10 times a day that I need to work out and lose 15 kilos. He would tell me that I'm not fit, and that I'm not good enough. I bite into the donut, original glazed. It hits the right spot. I am happy.  He didn't see me going to the party in heels. If he did, he would remind me that I don't have the required practice and I am wobbly on my feet. He would smile at me weird and say not to feel hurt, he's just playing. But he didn't see me, go to the party in heels. I dance and nearly fall, but it's so good to feel it without someone pointing it out. He didn't see me putting on my green lipstick. If he did, he would remind me that it's just not what's done in society. But he didn't see me, and I had the best night. I was free to be myself.  He didn't see me crying, if he did he would have said that I'm too emotional,...

The train

The T shirt The morning of my first train journey alone from the city of Bangalore to the huge city of Mumbai, had me seeing the interiors of a train for the first time in 25 years. The last time I traveled by train I was 5 years old. A lot had changed since then. Flights were frequent, my father had made huge amounts of money, and I never had to bother taking the train. But as a 30 year old unmarried woman, trying to prove herself in a patriarchal society, I had cut off from my family- financially and emotionally. I had my hand sanitiser, wet tissues, pepper spray,  packed food (enough for 3 days), and I was ready to fight the germs and the assholes that could be in the train. I was dressed in my ex boyfriend's t shirt which was a few sizes too big, so as to not "entice" the lewd remarks or actions. A woman shabbily clad in a Saree came and sat next to me with her 3 kids and her husband who smelled heavily of alcohol. They were jittery and excited. There was a stron...

The Beauty within

The mind I'm going to smile and pretend and tell you this story.  I am okay. I have been okay. I will be okay. I have been saying this to everyone, I don't see a reason to speak the truth now.  I am fine. It wasn't me who stood at that ledge that one time. It might have been my body standing there waiting for the right moment, for the winds to shift, for my feet to slip, but it wasn't me. This mind is fine.  Do you mind if I light up a smoke? I picked up this habit a while back, existential crisis, I like to call it. A mid life, scratch that, a quarter life crisis. But I am going to quit. I will, the moment, my life decides it has meaning. I am not dependent on it. I mean, I used to smoke when I used to feel sad but nowadays I don't feel sad anymore. I mean I hardly feel anything. I am really happy. Ecstatic. Nothing brings me down anymore.  What's that? Am I lying? I don't lie. I never lie. I wouldn't say never because every body lies right? Y...