The train

The T shirt

The morning of my first train journey alone from the city of Bangalore to the huge city of Mumbai, had me seeing the interiors of a train for the first time in 25 years. The last time I traveled by train I was 5 years old. A lot had changed since then. Flights were frequent, my father had made huge amounts of money, and I never had to bother taking the train.

But as a 30 year old unmarried woman, trying to prove herself in a patriarchal society, I had cut off from my family- financially and emotionally. I had my hand sanitiser, wet tissues, pepper spray,  packed food (enough for 3 days), and I was ready to fight the germs and the assholes that could be in the train. I was dressed in my ex boyfriend's t shirt which was a few sizes too big, so as to not "entice" the lewd remarks or actions.

A woman shabbily clad in a Saree came and sat next to me with her 3 kids and her husband who smelled heavily of alcohol. They were jittery and excited. There was a strong smell of scented talcum powder. My first "rememberable" experience by train, and this was what I got. The woman started to speak to me, they had won a trip to Mumbai, her first time in second class seats, her first time outside the city. I tried to speak to her in my broken kannada. She didn't seem to care much for the lack of good grammar. She kept talking excitedly about her husband and her children. Her husband quietly sat leering at me. I held my handbag closer to me. It was going to be a long train ride.

The Saree

The morning of train journey with my family from the city of Bangalore to the huge city of Mumbai, had me seeing the interiors of a second class compartment of a train for the first time in 30 years. The last time I traveled by train was in the over crowded general compartment when I was 5 years old. A lot had changed since then. Work was frequent, my father had died, and I never had the chance to take the train anywhere.

But as a 30 year old married woman, trying to care for 3 kids in a patriarchal society where my husband comes home drunk every night, I had finally won the break I deserved. I had packed diapers for the baby, water, roti and dal (to last through the journey) and I was ready for my chance for some fun in my life. I was dressed in my best saree, so that I look like I fit in to the crowd in the compartment. 

A woman was already sitting where I was supposed to sit. She was wearing a big sized  tshirt. She looked nervous. So I went and sat next to her. We were very excited, my kids were laughing. It was good to see them so happy. I started talking to the woman about how I had won a trip to Mumbai, my first time in second class seats, my first time outside the city. She spoke very poor kannada. But I was happy she was interested in talking. I kept talking excitedly about my husband and my children. She held her handbag closer to her. Did she think I was going to steal from her? That was not fair, I was just trying to  be nice. I was sad suddenly.  It was going to be a long train ride.