Blink

 The criminal

I look at you. I remember I gave you the chance to break me. I didn’t leave, when I knew I should have. I stopped you when you were about to leave. I let myself be bruised. I blink to see if there are any tears in my eyes.

I remember the last time. I had thrown it at you, that book that I had painstakingly made as an anniversary gift. I had thrown it at you, hoping, hoping that you’d see it and you’d know what we were losing. I had begged for forgiveness from you, craving for something I knew we had no way of getting back. I had blinked just hoping the pain would go away.

I remember when you had told me that you wanted to be with me forever, when you had promised forever. That blue checkered shirt, with its sleeves folded up, the smell of my favourite deo, the half eaten plate of chicken wings, and that playful yet perfect smile. I had blinked, just to make sure that I captured the moment. 

I remember when we had first met, how you’d sat across from me, just waiting to leave and hang out with your friends. Your boss had been droning on about how our two teams should work together. I had caught your eye and you had winked. We had sat together in my hotel room that night, drinking vodka and talking about life. We had never had more clarity in our lives. We had known at that moment that we were soulmates. My hand had fit perfectly in yours. I had blinked, just to make sure that that had been reality.

I look away. I remember I gave you the chance to break me. I chose to be in this pain. I chose that we be strangers. I chose to never look at you the same. I don’t know who you are, and you don’t know who I am. Once upon a time, we were soulmates. I blink, just so that I forget.

The punisher 

I look at you. I remember I had loved you. These feelings that never left, the way you broke my heart. I gave you so many chances, I pushed to make us work. All you ever did, was fight about something I could have done better. I blink to see if there are any tears in my eyes.

I remember the last time. You had thrown it at me, that book, cause I had slapped you and you had told me you wanted me to love you, the way that you wanted to be loved. The constant nag to change, it would make anyone go mad. I just didn’t understand you or why you’d cry like everything I did was an attack, you had left me craving for something I knew we had no way of getting back. I had blinked just hoping the pain would go away.

I remember when you had told me that you loved me. That black pinstriped dress, with your cropped up hair, the smell of my favourite lip gloss ,the presentation we were working on together open in front of us, and that cute yet mischievous smile. I had pinched you a little harder than I had intended but just so you’d get back to work. And I had blinked, just to make sure that I captured the moment. 

I remember when we had first met, how you’d sat across from me, this perfect employee. My boss had been droning on about how our two teams should work together. I had caught your eye and winked. Your smile made my heart melt and I had known that we were soulmates. I had blinked, just to make sure that that had been reality.

I see you look away. I remember I gave you a chance to come back to me. I gave you many chances to change. I gave you many chances to become a stronger person. Yet you chose that we be strangers. I know you, I know I was what was best for you, I know you’d never find anyone as patient or kind as me. Once upon a time, we were soulmates. I blink, cause I never want you to forget.