The ex boyfriend
I smile at her. I think it's been 2 years since we had last met. She seems to be more comfortable than I am. Why had we decided on this meeting. I stand up and pull out her chair. I'd been here half an hour early. My palms are slightly sweaty, I quickly wipe them on my jeans and shake her hand quickly.
We have a few minutes of small talk, I ask her how the weather is at her new city. I ask her how her new job is. Then I ask her the question most people would evade. "How's the new boyfriend?" She had left me for him. I still remember the day. How arguments turned into the ending. He may have been better for her. But I felt a pang of jealousy even now.
It was her turn to smile. "He's doing good. Busier than ever. We've been traveling a lot too. Life is really good." I could feel the jealousy turn into a ravenous hunger, my ego growing wild. What did I want? Wasn't I extremely happy without her? My phone rings, it is my girlfriend, she had been a little insecure about me meeting what I had called the love of my life. I quickly recall the hurt she had on her face when I had spoken of the meeting. She had looked up at me and said, "you need to go." So I had come. Now, I cut the call.
My ex has a look in her eye, I can feel that she's empty somehow. I can feel that something is missing in her life, and I know I don't have the freedom to ask. She suddenly continues on, of how her life is perfect. How everything she ever wanted has been fulfilled. My phone rings again, my girlfriend is calling, I feel a sort of guilt and fear. Maybe what I'm doing is wrong. Why am I here. I cut the call again.
My ex has a slight frown on her face, "everything alright?" I nod quickly, and I blurt out, "it's my girlfriend. I think she's a little upset that I'm meeting you." The moment I said it, I knew, it was stupid. Maybe I spoke out, out of familiarity. But my ex, her frown deepens as she laughs. "I'm glad you're seeing someone." But there is something empty in her voice. I know something is going wrong here, but my thoughts now are away, of the guilt that is racking my brain and how I just want to get home and apologize.
"I think I should leave now," she is already getting up as she calls for the cheque. I laugh, and say that I have got it. She doesn't have to be in a hurry to leave. She smiles at me, again there is that emptiness. Maybe I never meant as much to her to even garner a genuine smile. But that is barely a thought, I just want to leave here too. My ex leaves, a quick hug and she is out the door, I can barely acknowledge it. I lean back in my chair and realise, I'm completely over her. I need to go home and hug my girlfriend.
The ex girlfriend
I enter and look at him. I think it's been 2 years since we had last met. He seems more at home and has an easy smile on his face. Happiness. Why had we decided on this meeting. He stands up and pulls out my chair. I'd been here half an hour early, waiting outside for the right time to enter. I watched him from the window, texting, and looking relaxed. Is he seeing someone, I wonder. A quick handshake as a greeting, and I could tell the difference in the touch.
We have a few minutes of small talk, he asks me how the weather is at my new city. He asks me how my new job is. Then he asks me the question most people would evade. "How's the new boyfriend?" I remember hurting him then, but seeing him now, I know he has moved on. I knew my answers had to be perfect, I knew I had to make him jealous somehow. I know asking me would already have hurt his ego.
I chose this moment to flash him my happiest smile "He's doing good. Busier than ever. We've been traveling a lot too. Life is really good." I could see him get a little uncomfortable, nobody in their right mind would be comfortable with the way I had answered. What did I want? I didnt want him to be happy without me, he had let me go. His phone rings, I see a slightly pretty girl's picture pop up, I felt my ego rising a little bit, he hadn't gotten a better girl than me. I quickly look at his face, and my heart falls. I can see the love in his eyes, I can see the guilt in his face. He did not want to be here. Still he cuts the call.
My ex has a look in his eye, I know that look of love and I know it's intensity is more than what I have felt from him. I can feel that something is missing in my life, and I know I need to enter a mode of attack. I talk to him of how my life is perfect and how everything I have ever wanted has been fulfilled, I'm happier than ever. His phone rings again, there's that semi pretty girl again, I look at him and there it is in his eyes, a look of guilt mixed with an intense look of love. Maybe what I'm doing is wrong. Why am I here. He cuts the call again.
I feel a little tense and I blurt out, "everything alright?" He nods quickly, and says, "it's my girlfriend. I think she's a little upset that I'm meeting you." The moment he said it, I could see the pain in his eyes, I could see the truth of why he was here. He wasn't still in love with me, he was just curious, curious about his feelings for me. I feel a slight inch of a heartbreak. But I laugh and say "I'm glad you're seeing someone." I can see the happiness etched across his face, I know he's genuinely happy. I also see a restlessness, like he has realised he shouldn't be here. I feel a catch in my throat.
"I think I should leave now," I say jumping up before the tears start rolling. I signal for the cheque. He insists on getting the cheque and even gently tells me to stay. I smile at him, my tears nearly blinding me. Maybe he has completely forgotten how I react and behave and doesn't realise the pain I feel. I draw to him for a quick hug and I nearly run out the door. Outside I lean against the cafe wall in tears, and I realise, maybe I wasn't over him.
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