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The Jump

Happiness

Maybe, just maybe, it is time to give up. I mean, sure, the girl next door lost both her parents to COVID 19. Sure, my family is alive and well and I’m so grateful for it. Sure, I have a lot of love in my life. Sure, I have a great job that gives me time and money. But maybe, it is time that it gets over. When I’m at my peak, when life is at a high and there’s no fall that I can see ahead. 

Maybe, just maybe, they won’t miss me as much. Maybe they would understand that it wasn’t sadness at all. I was happy, I am happy and isn’t that what stories always told us? To have a happy ending? Why wait for another moment of sadness? Why wait for another heart break? Why wait for an interruption to my perfect life, when I can be happy and just give it all up.

Maybe, just maybe, this jump might not be my last. Maybe, I am so happy that I might defy all odds and fly! This height isn’t that scary. And I’m happy, I’m so happy. I take the jump with my eyes closed and a smile on my face. 

Depression

Maybe, just maybe, it is time to give up. I mean, sure, the girl next door lost both her parents to COVID 19. Sure, my family is alive and well and I’m so grateful for it. Sure, I have a lot more than many people around me do. But maybe, it is time that I just want to give up. I just want to feel something else… or not feel at all. 

Maybe, just maybe, they will miss me a little. Maybe they would understand that it wasn’t their fault at all. I was lonely, I am lonely and isn’t that what stories always told us? To have a happy ending? That it comes easily to those who are good and kind and suffer in silence? Why wait for an a happy ending or a perfect life, when I can give it all up and take the plunge.

Maybe, just maybe, this jump might not be my last. Maybe, even this wouldn’t go right and I might defy all odds and fly! This height isn’t that scary. I take the jump with my eyes closed and a smile on my face. 


Adrenaline rushes as I hit the water. My first cliff jump.

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