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The Heart and The Brain

The Sight

I stare up at the office window, blank. Thoughts were no longer racing in my mind. Questions were halted, my train of thoughts forcefully stopped in its tracks. I could get hit by a bus right now, but I doubt I would feel it. I was numb.

It was a struggle to forget, a fight to let go. I could not, but I had to. I dragged my feet slowly away from his office. My eyes never wavering from the doors, hoping he would walk out, a smile in place. But he wasn’t there. He didn’t know I was here.

My stomach cramped, my heart felt like it couldn’t pump any blood because the truth is, that he never cared. He never loved me the way that I loved him. He never understood me the way that I understood him. He did not know me, and he never wanted to.

My whole world had fallen apart in an hour. The world stopped spinning for a fraction of minute, just enough for the words “it’s over,” I smiled to myself. It was over, because it was never real. I had fought constantly to fix something that was not real.

I couldn’t look away from the doors, hoping against hope that he would come out and everything would be the same. But something inside had me changed. I had cut him off, and I had lost my friend, a person I once thought was my soulmate.

I had known this day would come. But I never knew it would hurt this way, never knew that I would think it was all fake. There was nothing coming out of those doors that I wanted to see.

I walked away.





The Flight

I stare out through window, blank. Thoughts were overwhelming. Questions were rattling the cage of my brain, my heart could feel a hit. I could get hit by a bus right now, and I wouldn’t know which pain was worse. I had lost.

It was a struggle to understand, a state of panic. I wanted her to be waiting, but she wasn’t. I forced my eyes away from the window. My mind never wavering from the picture of her waiting for me, headphones in place. But she wasn’t there. She didn’t know I wanted her there.

My stomach cramped, my heart felt like it would fall out of its place. She just left me like I never loved her, she just cut me off like I never meant anything. I didn’t understand her, I didn’t understand her arguments. Nothing was ever enough, and I couldn’t make her happy.

My whole world changed in an hour. I knew that it would break her, it would hurt us, just two words, “it’s over,” I laughed at myself. It was over, and it was a relief. I had been released from shackles that bound me.

I couldn’t take my mind away from the thoughts, hoping against hope that she would be there. But something inside me had changed. She had cut me off, and I had lost my friend, a person I once thought would never leave me.

I had known this day would come. But I didn’t know that it would make me miss her, never knew that she would not be there, which is when I ran to my office doors, because I knew she would be waiting there.


I walked out hoping to have a last glimpse of her, but I knew she had walked away.

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