Broken Codes

The Story I wonder sometimes if you knew, how much it hurt. Not that you were in love with someone else, but that you lied to me about it. I wonder sometimes if you knew how insane it made me to know that there was some secret that you didn't tell me about. I wonder if you knew that i was jealous only because I feared losing you to her. Yet, I did. It isn't the fact that you look happy that hurts me, I'm happy that you are happy. But it's that I wasn't important enough for you to tell me, that there was someone else, that maybe you'll leave me for her. It didn't matter that you loved her the way you loved me or that you were happy around her, the way you were around me. But the fact is, you lied to me, made me feel like I was the only one. You made me feel like my world was your world, that you knew what we could accomplish together. Yet, at the end you broke my world, you chose her, and not even for a minute did I truly believe you ever could. The T...

The Bride "Could you ask him? Please? I know you're friends. And I really need to know. Could you ask him if he likes me?"  I see the conversation playback in my mind. 15 years since that first crush. I remember this conversation to this day. Because you never really forget the first time your heart breaks.  But what I feel now is love like I have never felt before. You know it's real love when the only time he makes you cry is when he makes you doubt his feelings. But there he is, the perfect groom; Laughing with his buddies. I take a step into the church, the laughing face turns to a sly smile as the orchestra starts playing our song. Walking down the aisle to the man of my dreams. I reach him, the preist does his bit and then the vows. I go first, using every instance I have known him to sum up my feelings entirely and I end it with, "I love you." He hadn't even said it yet, not even on the day he had proposed. All he had said was that he car...

The soul I look at her. She's pretty. I haven't seen her around here before. She seems a little lost. I wonder if I should get up and go say hi. But then, I might lose my seat at the bar. I'm waiting for a friend. He's late. As usual, but I wait, I can be patient. I watch her as she looks around and there's a moment of recognition in her eyes as she looks at a spot near the door. Someone has obviously come in, but I can't take my eyes off of her. She hugs this new comer, a smile in her eyes, a perfect smile on her lips. She isn't sure of something as she separates from him, a smile that turns into a slight frown. She walks towards me, a slight touch on the guy's hand. "Hey man." Of course, the guy has to be him, my best friend since childhood. He introduces her to me, I smile and offer her my seat. She refuses, smiling politely. She looks a little confused as she looks up at him. He introduces her as his friend, he knew her from college...

The keeper I love you son. You are everything, and anything I have wanted. I am sorry that I left. I couldn't be at home anymore. My heart still aches that I left when you were still holding my hand, you were 7 and too young to understand. I could have come to see you any time, but I refused. But never did I spend a single day not thinking about you, I have supported you through everything, watched you more closely than you can ever imagine. But I couldn't bring myself to face you. At 13 you were bright, topper of your class, your mother raised you well. I just could never bring myself to love her again, I could not stand to be in the same room as her. I am sorry. It was never about you.  At 18, I thought that it was time, should I meet you, tell you how I know everything about you- How you have got into one of the best colleges, how proud I am of you. Should I? But I am a coward, son. I am the biggest coward anyone could ever imagine. Your hand wrapped around my fing...

The Girl I lit the candle. It was still dark. I couldn't see except for a few feet ahead. I hated the dark, I feared it. I had this creepy feeling I was being watched. I reached the fuse box and turned on the light. My phone was out of charge. I really felt like I wasn't alone at home.  I went back to my room, put my phone on charge and got into the shower. The warm water was very soothing to my frazzled nerves. Bed time. Finally, I could sleep and the night would be over. I had a few texts from this guy I was seeing. Cute boy, fun boy. I think I could fall in love with him. I felt safe somehow as  I texted him. But it had been a long day and I decided to sleep. His msg read "I can come over. We can chat, maybe watch a movie." I laughed. He was sweet and him being here would make me feel protected, but I was too tired. "Come on. I am nearby i can be there soon." I send a goodnight text and turned off the internet and the lights. And I slept. The lover...

The confused I sit on this park bench and I watch. How are they so sure. How do they know. I watch these girls as they happily clutch the arms of these boys staring lovingly into their eyes. How do they know for sure that that guy is the one? How do they know they love them? How do they know they want to be with them? How do they know that they want to get married? How do they know that they won't get bored?  I can't know. I have never known. Was it love? Is what I am feeling attraction? Is it the attention I seek? Do I want more? How do I know? How is it easy for all these girls that I see to know what they want? What if I am wrong? What if he's not the one, what if I break his heart? What if he breaks mine?  Don't get me wrong, rejection doesn't scare me. Words that convey "I don't feel the same way about you," has never scared me. Probably because I haven't faced rejection, true rejection. Is it rejection if you don't want to really b...