Broken Codes

Mother As you age, life is supposed to speed up not slow down. Not in this fast paced world. I have aged, slowly and gracefully. The worry lines and laugh lines of a mother etched deep into my face. It has been years since I have seen my son. My husband didn't approve of his choice in a wife. I never understood why it mattered, he was our son, our only child. We watched him grow up, a spoilt irresponsible boy- until he met her. She brought out a more serious side of him. I saw the change, my husband saw the change, we approved of this. Our son had aged wisely we thought. We never knew the cause behind it. Love. You would think age would bring wisdom on this matter. The only unconditional love age knew was a mother's to her son. Age didn't understand love that would pull a son a 1000 km away to start a family of his own. Age always knew what was best for the son. He had brought home a Hindu girl. A pretty young thing who he met at his work place. He loved her he had said...

Y esterday This is not my first time. I didn't choose today out of any sense of sentimentality.  I chose today because today I feel something is missing. I woke up feeling incomplete. I had fallen in love and had been lying to myself the entire time. There was no violin playing, no live music, no dancers- there was no celebration of love, unrequited love did not deserve that kind of romance. I woke up to the blaring sound of the alarm. I didn't want to wake up, my only thought was, "Can I sleep away my feelings?" I rolled over and watched the ceiling,  I didn't wake up thinking of him, I woke up feeling scared to think of him. I felt like a zombie and I felt like my brain had been eaten away. The constant feeling of my brain being munched on by thoughts of his eyes,  his hands, his voice when he said the words, "I love you." But the word "love" has so many meanings and the meaning he held in those words was- heartbreak. He was not in love wi...